“I have a million little balls of handspun”

I need to do some end-of-winter projects with all of these weenie little yarn balls. I stuck them onto these trees to amuse myself, but the fact that they’re begging to be knitted is pretty evident. *sigh*

I’m bummed, though, that I lost another personal day to sickness…I was out Friday (as was at least half the company) because of the snow. Then, I really had to sit down and think about it: if the last year & a half have been about cancer, this year and some months will have to be devoted to getting well again, and vacation days might just have to wait until I actually am healthier.

A getting-ready-for-summer rant:

Do they even MAKE a swimsuit without a bra in it? I’m sure they do, but I haven’t found one. The best I can do is the soft shelf liner, rather than the stupid cups that will do nothing for me.  I spent some time tonight looking for a bathing suit-ish thing that will look ok on me. The problem with this year’s crop of tankinis is that they mostly seem to plunge mightily towards the cleavage area (which wouldn’t be a problem, if I had cleavage), or to cost $300. I found something from Patagonia on Backcountry.com, that’s affordable and not too plunging on top, and looks like a tank top, so we’ll see. Mind you, I went to 10 different websites, and the pickings were slim.  I’m hoping the Patagonia one fits, because: 1)they have a great environmental policy (you can return your ready-for-the-trash synthetics to them for recycling into new clothing), and 2)I’m already tired of looking. (Yes, I know I’ve only been looking for one evening).

My mother asked “Anything for the one-boobed?” And the answer had to be “No.” Which is still ridiculous, and which is why the time is ripe for Rebel1in8 to start dressing her mothers and sisters!

I woke up at 3AM, because the plow was going by, and again at 6AM, and made my phone call to work and knocked around in my pjs until noonish. Then, we suited up, waxed the skis for the first time in 2 years (last year I had my bilateral mastectomy, and wasn’t allowed to ski), and went out there, and did lovely & grueling cross-country skiing. Am I worried that I’m gonna have a lymphedema problem later today? YES. And how. But it felt great to be out there, falling on my ass in the backyard.

We’re totally crappy skiers, and this is mostly due to the once-yearly snowfalls that began the year we bought skis. Basically, we used to have wall-to-wall snow from January to March, and now we get snow once a season, maybe twice. Thanks, global warming. I think the timing is pretty ironic, considering the ski purchase, but hey—the bright side is, our skis and boots and poles are lasting FOREVER.

Other stuff I’ve been too busy to acknowledge: Jean of the Assertive Cancer Patient sent me some of her cool Boycott October pins, which I shared with my mom. Thanks, Jeanne!

I’ll post more when I have time: for the time being, it’s a nuthouse around here!

1. In the past year, I’ve seen my friend Jacqueline’s small, defiant business start to blossom, watched her on tv, and got to know her as a person, and that’s been awesome.

2. I’ve gotten connected to a world of wonderful women who are blogging about cancer & life, and who knock me out with their eloquence, courage, and honesty.

3. I haven’t missed my boobs even once. Really.

OK, done. And unfortunately, so is this post, as I am exhausted from running around in the park today.

Jackie sent me this amazing shirt, with her new Rebel1in8 logo on…I am blown away by how utterly perfect it is.

You’ve left me speechless, J!!

If you’re looking for me there, go here:http://www.giveittomeraw.com/profile/pocketina

Not much else to report, just doing mucho work, so the updates are scattered for the time being…but I *did* get cool mail today & will share that tomorrow.

I’m halfway through one of the knitting projects, with another one still on the needles, and I’m insane enough to contemplate a third! Yes, a third, like: cast it on now, and have three piles of yarniness on the coffee table. I’m NUTS.

In other news, as the weeks wind on towards the one year anniversary of the de-boobing operation, I’m seeing more changes in the surgical area. My chest continues to hollow out, and I can see ribs that only people who’ve had mastectomies can see, since everyone else’s are covered by tissue & fat. I wonder, sometimes, what people think, but honestly…I’m trying to forge a path here for some of us to just be fabulous, without boobs (if we want to), so I realize that knowing what other people think might just be discouraging. I still kick around several ideas about tattoos over the area where my breasts were, and I know I’ve got to give the lymphedema a long time to *not* flare up before that’s a reasonable option. Stupid lymphedema!!

It’s late…I have to crash out, or lose too much of the morning to sleep. Goodnight, world!

wicked sweater

Originally uploaded by Xao_T

I finally finished a Wicked! This sweater pattern’s been haunting me for almost 2 years. I tried it in two different cotton yarns, and frogged it both times, and then had a conversation with a very experienced knitter about cotton, and she gave me the idea that maybe the pattern wasn’t to blame, but my fiber choice. She was right!
This is done in Cascade 220, and it fits a little loosely on me, but the shaping keeps it from looking floppy. I like oversized vesty things and this works perfectly. In the pic, I’m wearing it over a black cashmere turtleneck & it looked pretty good! A nice, transitional piece for late winter into spring, and then into fall again.

In other news, I’ve been making various salad dressings with Vegenaise, and I can’t say enough about this shit. It’s awesome. It tastes just like mayo! I heart Vegenaise. Oh, and pineapple. I’ve had about half a pineapple this afternoon. Something about detoxing myself from the effects of the Horrible Cold: I wanted cole slaw, pineapple, and a big handful of dried cherries. Must be needing some nutrients, so I went with it.

I also made the evilest daikon radish pickles on the face of the Earth. They’re so salty, gingery, and vinegary that your hair stands on end, but you want more of them anyway. I think my fingers will be swollen tomorrow, they’re THAT salty. Evil!

It was a good weekend.